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Monday, 21 December 2009

time goes by and things change.

I been think alot today about how the year 2009 went for me. I realized that as time goes on things change, family, your friendships and many things change nothing ever stays the same. I wish it did though i wish some things stayed the same,i know for a fact that i need to get the concept of letting go and moving with my life but i dont think i am ever going to do that but then again who gets that perfectly i dont think anybody does. I miss the old friendships i had with people it saddens me that i am not as close with them anymore as i used to be i miss the old times and would do anything to get them back why do these things need to change? is it teach me a life lesson things in my family have changed and its for the worse. For once i want things to stay the same i want everything back to normal the way it should be. I just feel like nothing is right in my life anymore and i hate that feeling.

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

is it just me?

I really think i have some serious issues. I really think i have this addiction to getting attention if i dont get it espically from guys i feel pretty shitty. I really wish i wasnt like this at all and i wish i didnt have to count on other people to make me feel good about myself. I mean there are days where i feel amazing and then other days where i feel like i am not good enough. I see other girls that are really pretty and i get so jealous and my self confidince just goes down and i get really insecure i always think people would like me better if i looked like that. i really wish being like this and i wish i could just stop but its easier than said and done. I know i pick at myself more than i should but i cnat help i see so many flaws and so many things wrong that i want it to get fixed.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

I know there is many people that dont have thier real parent or parents in their life. I havent had my so called real dad in my life ever. He left my mom when i was born. I dont understand how a parent can do that to their own child just leave them like that. Because of this i always feel like i am not good enough to people this has made me feel so insecure about my own self. I got in contact with him again and he tells me he loves me and misses me but i cant take that seriously. It was his own fault he could have stayed and been their with me and been through everything but he chose not to. And how can he possibly say he loves me? he doesnt even know anything about me. I dont consider him my dad he didnt raise me he just caused me pain and left me with bitterness. He has other kids and he didnt seem to leave them he is there for them. Why was he never there for me? was i not good enough i just dont understand whats wrong with me that made him leave me? All my family memebers say i look so much like him and my mom tells me that all the time. That bugs the shit out of me. I hate it when they tell me that they tell me i look so much like someone that has caused me so much anger and pain. And now that i got into contact with him he wants to be there for me after seventeen years? I know he is "dad" but i dont want him in my life but then another part does because i dont want him to miss out anymore out of my life but the other half is stuck with anger and bitterness and so confused. I dont even know what i am supposed to do?

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

guys

Boys are not girls. Most don't want to know about how you feel and what you think. They want to get what they can from you and then move on.

Don't get excited if some boy is nice to you. Isn't the mail carrier nice to you? And what about your teachers, the drunk on the corner, or the little boy up the street? Nice isn't nothing much. You deserve a boy who is more than nice to you. Women think nice is enough, but it's not. It's a low bar to set for yourself. You deserve a boy who's going to respect you. To get somebody like that though, you have to know what you want. You're smart. Write something down. Come up with a map that's going to help lead you to the kind of man you want. Know what you want just as well as you know what you don't want. And don't settle for less, or one day you're going to regret it.

If boys didn't have eyes, they would make some for themselves. You see, boys/men like to look. And they like looking at women more than anything. So when you wear your short skirts and your low-cut tops, don't forget that what's hanging out is there for everybody to see. That means good and bad alike is going to be taking inventory of what's yours. Some look from afar to see what's what. Other's come in close, touch and feel and sniff and leave the shelf all discombobulated once they are gone. A short skirt and a low-cut top is a man's best friend. So when you're wearing them, don't think he's asking for your phone number just because he thinks you're nice or smart or going to make a good wife. He has other ideas. That's how men are.

There are some strong, good boys out there. A girl has to make up her mind early that's what she wants. And when the good ones come, like spring water to a dry creek, don't be sticking up your nose and saying how you know he isn't the one because he acts silly, can't dance, or don't hang with the cool kids at school. When you measure a boy, a man, you better use a different kind of stick – not just one that tells you how popular he is. But one that can poke around his insides and see what's in his heart, his head, and his habits.

A good man will do just about anything for a good woman. Girls have more power over men than they think. But you are so scared that you will lose him if you don't do like they say, you forget how strong you are. So you give him what he wants – your body, your cash, the time you should be spending on the books or with your girlfriends, even your mind. Walk tall, like your back is made out of 100-year-old pine. Men like to know that a tree doesn't bend as easy as a piece of paper.

A boy's father shows him how to be a man, so watch out for boys whose fathers are missing in action. It doesn't mean the boys don't know how to be men, some know better than others. But it means you need to do some extra checking, deeper thinking. Does the boy know how to work hard for what he wants in life? Does he honk the horn for you or walk up to the front door and knock like he has a queen waiting for him? Does he know how to hold back his nature? Because a man will teach a boy [if he's half a man] to be selective. Does he know that real men don't hit women? Does he know that what's between him and you is between him and you – not him, you, and all his friends? Ask questions! Don't be afraid he's going to leave you, because, more likely than not, you are going to break up in a few months anyways. This isn't a Disney film. It's real life. And there's plenty of hurt out there for you if you don't think smart and toughen up a little.

Boys need girls to help them feel like men. They act like they don't need you. Acting like all they want is what they can get. But girls make boys feel like manhood is worth the trip. It's not just because girls are pretty and sweet and soft as roses. You complete him. Make him feel like we can do anything. So when you do date, remember that. Don't go screaming at him in front of his parents. Don't' go putting his business in the street. Help him to be better than he ever thought he could be – but don't go losing pieces of yourself doing it. Stay whole, and let him stay whole too. And then, if you do break up, there' going to be another boy/man out there looking for you, believing in you too.

Every girl needs a warrior – a boy, or man, who's got her back. No, not some thug who spends all his time looking for or causing trouble. But a strong man – inside and out. In the movies, warriors carry big shields, so when rocks and arrows come, they are protected, and so are the people they love. That's what you want in a boy/man – somebody who will stop the rocks. Somebody who won't sit still while you get called a ho or a B, or something else you know you're not. Somebody who knows right, wants to do right, and will fight for right when it comes your way. A warrior isn't just strong arms and fists, though. He's a thinker. A hard worker. Somebody who's willing to do without, to make sure his own is taken care of.

Boys are nice, so are men, but sometimes it's just you and you. So if you don't have a boyfriend, remember you still have yourself. You still have your dreams, your talent, and your intelligence. Let it out and don't bury it for no one. Because you are so much more than a pretty face and a tight pair of jeans, or some boy's girlfriend.

No matter what kind of advice a man gives a girl, she's going to choose the wrong road for a little while anyways. So if you forget who you are, and end up with a knuckleheaded boy, don't think you're obligated to stay put. You have feet, don't you? And a mind, right? So correct the situation. Be gone. Remember, a strong girl knows when she's gone up the wrong street, and she isn't ashamed to back out, make a U-turn, and start again.
love

12 CLUES TO KNOW WHETHER IT'S TRUE LOVE OR JUST AN INFATUATION.

1.What is the major attraction?
INFATUATION:
-If you are infatuated, the main interest is likely to be the physical equipment of the other person. A pretty face and a lovely figure are powerful attractions but looks can be deceiving. They are like the wrappings around a gift box - they don't tell you anything about what's inside. And physical beauty doesn't last forever. Dr.Short says,
"Out of the dozens of high school assemblies I went to as a boy, I recall only one. 'Boys,' the speaker said solemnly, 'before you marry a girl for her pretty face and sexy form, ask yourself: What's she going to look like in 30 years?' That stopped me.
"

REAL LOVE:
-If your love is real, your interest is in the total personality of the one you love. To be sure, there is the thrilling element of physical attraction, but it is only one of the many things about the person that attract you.

2.How many things about that person attract you?
INFATUATION:
-In infatuation, the things that attract you are usually few in number, but they can be VERY appealing to you. A guy may be smitten by the way his girl smiles or the sexy way she walks.

REAL LOVE:
-It it's real love, many or most of the qualities of the other person attract you. Each of us has a multitude of character traits, attitudes and opinions. How many of these have you observed in the other person and how many do you find attractive? This is important because, when the initial excitement of being married wears off, you need a lot of common interests to keep your marriage alive and well.

3.How did it start?
INFATUATION:
-Infatuations start fast. There is no such thing as real love at first sight, but there can be infatuation at first sight. Like the love songs say, the eyes of the lovers meet across a crowded room, lights flash, and they just KNOW that they are meant for each other. Actually, they don't know anything except they have made a good first impression on each other.

REAL LOVE:
-Real love always starts slowly. It cannot be any other way. You have to know a person before you can truly love that person and it takes time - lots of time - to really know someone.

A long courtship is far better than a short one. One year is better than six months, two years better than one year, three years better than two, and four better than three.

Three years? Four years? Yes, the statistics are absolutely clear on this subject. But most young people will not wait even one year. Many who rush into marriage learn by sad experience the truth of the old saying: MARRY IN HASTE, REPENT IN LEISURE. If you make the mistake of rushing into marriage, you will have plenty of time to be sorry afterwards.

4.How consistent is your interest?
INFATUATION:
-In an infatuation, your interest in each other blows hot and cold. One reason for this is that your interest grew so fast that the roots are shallow. Your whole relationship is shallow.

REAL LOVE:
-In real love your feelings are likely to be warm and tender instead of hot and cold, and they are more consistent. Real love grows slowly but the roots grow deep.

5.How does it affect your personality?
INFATUATION:
-An infatuation has a disorganizing effect upon your personality. It makes you less efficient and less responsible. Your romantic feelings are in control and you walk around in a daydream. The girls who says, "I know he has his faults but nothing really matters except the love which we have for each other," is infatuated...PERIOD! If she marries him, she will find out in time that those "other things" do matter after all.

REAL LOVE:
-If your love is real, the one you love will bring out your best qualities and make you want to be a better person. A guy who was really in love said of his girl, "I love her, not only because she is so wonderful, but because she's such an encouragement to me to be the right kind of person.
"

6.How do you see each other?
INFATUATION:
-In infatuation, your whole 'universe' revolves around that other person. Other relationships don't seem all that important to you. You tend to neglect your family and friends.

Your romantic infatuation becomes the most important thing in your life. It can become the ONLY thing that really matters to you. You think you are justified in doing anything for this wonderful "love" that has come into your life.

As I have said earlier, most infatuations don't last long, but the wrong things you do when you are infatuated often have lifetime consequences.

REAL LOVE:
-In real love, your beloved is the most important person in the world to you, but your relationships with your family and friends continue to be important to you.

7.How do other view your relationship?
INFATUATION:
-What other people think of your "beloved" is an important test. If you are infatuated, the chances are that your parents and many of your friends will NOT approve of the relationship.

One of the most dangerous things about an infatuation is that you tend to idolize the other person. You don't see any faults because you are "blindly in love." Your friends try to point out some danger signals to you, but you ignore them. Your parents may lovingly warn you that you are about to make a big mistake, but you will not listen.

A young person may say, "So what? We're marrying each other - not each other's families and friends." You can take this attitude if you want to, but it's downright foolish to ignore the advice of people who love you.

Over the years both you and your beloved have acquired your own circle of friends. We all tend to become like those we choose as our friends and they tend to become like us. So your friends are, in a sense, a "mirror" of what you are like. You may be infatuated with the other person, but your friends are not. When they see danger signals, you would do well to take heed and listen.

REAL LOVE:
-In real love, the chances are that your parents and most of your friends WILL approve of the relationship.

To have God's blessing on your marriage, it is very important that you have the consent and approval of BOTH sets of parents.

8.What does distance do?
INFATUATION:
-One of the best tests of a romance is the test of separation. If you are infatuated, time and distance will kill the relationship. This is particularly true if the couple has been mainly interested in each other's physical equipment. After a while, a real live somebody close by becomes more appealing than a photograph of a far-away sweetheart.

REAL LOVE:
-In real love, absence makes your heart grow fonder of the one you love. Real love can and will survive the test of time and distance.

Real love is rooted in the other person's total personality, not just their physical equipment. The time you spent together caused your personalities to "grow together." When you are separated, a part of you seems to be missing. Another person, however attractive, cannot fill the void in your heart.

When you are separated, you may feel anxious as well as sad. The thought may come, "What if he or she meets somebody else?" That may happen, but if the one you love can be happier with someone else, it is better to find out now and not after marriage. So if separation does come, accept it and don't worry about it. If your relationship is an infatuation and does not survive, it is good that you found out about it before it was too late.

9.How do quarrels affect the romance?
INFATUATION:
-In an infatuation, you quarrel often. You may do a lot of kissing and making up, but as time goes on, the quarrels become more frequent and more severe. Your relationship is like that of the two porcupines in freezing weather. When they were apart, they shivered from the cold and when they huddled together, they pricked each other.

REAL LOVE:
-In real love, there will be disagreements, but real love will live through them and the quarrels will become less frequent and less severe.

Every couple should learn how to handle conflicts. It is far better to discuss differences openly and frankly than to allow them to smolder under the surface.

10.How do you refer to your relationship?
INFATUATION:
-In an infatuation, you tend to think of your relationship in terms of two people - you and the one you love. When talking about your activities, the words commonly used are: I, ME, MY, HE, HIS, HER, and HERS. You are thinking of yourselves as two separate persons.

REAL LOVE:
-In real love, the words commonly used are: WE, OUR, US. You are thinking of yourselves as a unit.

This clue may not seem very important while you are dating, but it has major importance in marriage. In a marriage based on infatuation, the husband and wife may find more pleasure in pursuing separate interests than in doing things together. The husband may want to "go out with the guys" rather than be at home with his family. Or the wife may be more interested in her social contacts than her duties at home.

In a marriage where there is real love, husband and wife find their pleasure doing things together. The response is often, "I don't want to go unless you can go too."

11.Are you selfish or selfless?
INFATUATION:
-In infatuation, your interest in the other person is primarily selfish. A guy may date a girl who is pretty and popular just to boost his ego. She may be selfish and demanding, but if she's the "queen" of the school, that makes him the "king" when he dates her. Likewise, a girl may keep a guy "on the string," not because she has any real interest in him, but because he is devoted to her and that builds up her ego.

REAL LOVE:
-In real love, you love the person for what he or she is - not for what they can do to build up your ego.

12.What is your overall response?
INFATUATION:
-Is it your goal to find the person who will devote his or her life to making you happy? Is your main concern to look out for Number One -- namely yourself? If so, you are infatuated. Your overall attitude is selfish - you are mainly concerned about what you can get out of the relationship.

REAL LOVE:
-Real love is unselfish, committed love. You want to do all you can to bring happiness to the other person. Your overall attitude is that of GIVING to the relationship and not that of GETTING what you can out of it.